Last night, over dinner with a friend, we discussed how difficult it can be to change, to divorce, to let go of relationships, sometimes even family, to quit jobs (or be fired) when they no longer serve. We have a lot of judgment about endings, ‘failures’ we call them. But we both felt that in our lives these endings had only served to propel us further into better and more fulfilling lives, despite how society might judge us and how me might judge ourselves. We agreed we should welcome the sorrow that comes with an ending and release the judgment. Because many of us start out our lives with only a glimmer of who we truly are. We make choices from that place that later, when we have grown more into ourselves, no longer fit.
It’s life affirming to allow ourselves to change our external circumstances when this happens, to ‘re-pot’ our lives. We live so long now compared to a couple of hundred years ago and as women especially and men too, we have so much more opportunity to choose who we want to be and how we live our lives. I think it’s important to celebrate the right and the ability to change as we need to. To become more than we were. As Joseph Campbell, a mythologist who has greatly influenced my life and work, says “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
This is my favorite so far of a new series I’m working on called “SKY”. It references primarily an interior space…that of my own mind or spirit or soul…these days I’m less and less sure of the differences between the three. It’s a moment in time
record of my own personal emotional clearing of remaining debris. What startled me so much about this painting, when I first saw it complete, was that there was so much light despite the emotional turbulence I was feeling.
Last night I had a dream that I was telling an experienced painter or mentor that whether we as artists are painting abstract or representational work, we are all trying to capture the light.
Jill Joy - Loving an Addict, acrylic on canvas, 60x40"
This is part of the Forces of Nature Series. I painted this after dating a “Love Addict”. When he told me he was in 12 Step for love addiction I didn’t think much of it. I thought to myself — well, most of us are addicted to love right? Possibly but not in the sense that this man was. The amount of volatility, insecurity and level of demand was so high. It was like dating a storm. I painted this listening to Lucinda William’s song – “He Never Had Enough Love”.